Being a Valuable Participant

Meetings, Problem Solving and Decision Making  

Learning Objectives 

• Be a more valuable participant in a meeting by learning and using participation skills.

• You can take over a meeting from an ineffective leader.

 

 Being a Valuable Participant

            One of the first things to decide when meeting time rolls around is whether you are there as merely an “attendee,” or as an actual “participant.”       It is an important distinction—and mindset.        If you attend a football game you are in the stands watching it. If you participate in the game, you are one of the players. Successful project/programme purpose people are players. They make things happens. 

Some meetings, however, require only attendance. You are there to watch or listen to a speech or other type of presentation. Others demand participation.

Generally, though, people are invited to project/programme purpose meetings in order to participate in them, not just to watch.

Learning how to participate in a meeting can make both you and the meeting more effective. It is like learning anything else. It takes time, effort, thought, and practice. It involves watching how other people do it, and then avoiding the mistakes that some make while emulating the successful techniques that you see others use. Over time, you develop your own style and approach.

It is as much a skill—and a highly prized one, at that—as anything else you have had to learn in order to get where you are today.  It is a skill that will help your organization get the most out of its meetings.  It is also a skill that will help you go further in your career.

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Guideline:  How to Participate in a Meeting (that you did not call)

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 When Leaders Don’t Lead

            As we all know, some people are better at leading meetings than others. Some people should never lead a meeting because they don’t know how to do it. Sometimes, however, they wind up leading, and the meeting doesn’t go anywhere. It gets bogged down, lacks focus, and everyone sits there, knowing that they are wasting time, and wondering what—if anything—they can do about it.

            At these times, we even feel embarrassed for the leader who doesn’t know what to do, or how to do it.

            One way to solve the problem is to take over the meeting.

            Before we talk about how to do that, let’s deal with two important points:

1.      Do not try to take the leadership of a meeting away from an effective leader.

2.      Do not fight with another participant over who gets to take over the meeting. If someone else wants the job, and looks as if they can do it properly, or if they have a higher position, more rank, or seniority than you do, let them do it.

            Taking over a meeting is risky. The person you are taking it over from can resent it, see it as a threat, and turn into an enemy.

            Before you take over a meeting, you have to be confident that you can do so without causing any embarrassment or other problems for the leader, other participants, or yourself.  You need to do so in a way that makes the meeting efficient and effective, but still saves face for the person who is the formal leader of the meeting.

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            The simplest way to take over a meeting is to behave like a good participant.   When the leader says something off the subject, or that lacks focus, pretend that you are not sure what was said. Then say what you think the leader should have said, but do so as if you’re asking the leader for clarification. Think of it as constructively misquoting the leader. Use some of the leader’s own ideas, words, or examples, but use them the way they should have been used, with the right focus, and then ask:

·        “Is this what you mean?”

·        “So then you’re saying they’re connected?”

            Another technique is to move the discussion along by presenting as a short summation what the leader should have said, and then adding something like:

·        “So, then, this leads us right to the next item on the agenda…”

·        “I see what you mean, and how this ties in directly to the topic…”

·        “I’m really curious if I’m the only one here who…

            Anyone who takes over a meeting is walking a fine line. The group appreciates the fact that someone has taken charge. Sometimes even the leader appreciates it, but not always.

            One of the best ways to take over a meeting is to make it look as if it’s almost an accident; sort of like the chess player who always seems to “stumble” into a position that leads to checkmate, or the pool player who always manages to find and make that “lucky shot” that no one had noticed.  All of this requires thinking ahead and anticipating where an effective meeting needs to go.  It also requires plenty of tact and diplomacy.

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