Whenever you have people together, you have the potential for conflict. As
communication scholars William Wilmot and Joyce Hocker state, conflict is “the
interaction of interdependent people who perceive incompatible goals and interference from
each other in achieving those goals.”
Three elements are required for a conflict to
develop:
1.
Perceived
Incompatibility:
You don’t have to have incompatible goals. You just have to
think you do. As before, when it comes to “belief,” perception is reality.
2.
Interdependence:
Conflicts arise only with those whose lives are tied to us. You have to be
connected to someone to have a conflict with him.
3.
Interrelation:
Without communication there can be no conflict. You have to communicate to find out
what you are fighting or arguing about.
Managers deal with conflict as part of their jobs. Successful managers usually see
it coming, and look for win-win solutions in which everyone at least satisfied. They also
show they understand and respect how the people involved feel about the situation.
There are four steps for managing conflict that we can all use, regardless of
where we are in the organizational hierarchy:
1. State the Facts: Tell the other person what has happened. Explain. Do not blame.
2.
Explain
Ramifications: Tell how you feel because of what happened.
3.
Establish
Fresh Ground: State possible resolutions if it comes up again.
4. Ask and Listen: Ask all the people involved to explain what they went through and how they saw it. Listen to them, attentively. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Messages can mean more than the sum of their words, communicating more
than their stated purpose. Things left unsaid can be more important than that which is
said.
Messages tell us what our relationships are to the people we communicate
with, and give us hints about where we fit with our compatriots, and in the organizational
hierarchy.
While you should not look at every message that crosses your desk or computer screen as some sort of secret document in need of deciphering, you should be aware of some of the clues that can often be found in most internal communication.
Here are 10 simple questions to ask yourself to help you begin to analyze how the way you communication establishes who you are and what your relationships are:
How are you are addressed, and how do
you address the people you communicate with?
Where are you in the office distribution chain? Near the top? The bottom? In the middle?
Do most of the messages you get
“tell” you to do things, or “ask”?
Do people report what they want done,
or what they did?
Are they giving or asking for an
opinion?
Do your messages regularly ask you to
negotiate, facilitate, or mediate disputes?
Do you initiate more messages than you
receive?
Do your messages reflect friendships
as well as project/programme purpose relationships?
Do you get more or fewer messages than
others in your position?
Do you feel that your messages reflect
where you are in the chain of command?
Whenever you have people together, you have the potential for conflict. As
communication scholars William Wilmot and Joyce Hocker state, conflict is “the
interaction of interdependent people who perceive incompatible goals and interference from
each other in achieving those goals.”
Three elements are required for a conflict to
develop:
1.
Perceived
Incompatibility:
You don’t have to have incompatible goals. You just have to
think you do. As before, when it comes to “belief,” perception is reality.
2.
Interdependence:
Conflicts arise only with those whose lives are tied to us. You have to be
connected to someone to have a conflict with him.
3.
Interrelation:
Without communication there can be no conflict. You have to communicate to find out
what you are fighting or arguing about.
Managers deal with conflict as part of their jobs. Successful managers usually see
it coming, and look for win-win solutions in which everyone at least satisfied. They also
show they understand and respect how the people involved feel about the situation.
There are four steps for managing conflict that we can all use, regardless of
where we are in the organizational hierarchy:
1. State the Facts: Tell the other person what has happened. Explain. Do not blame.
2.
Explain
Ramifications: Tell how you feel because of what happened.
3.
Establish
Fresh Ground: State possible resolutions if it comes up again.
4. Ask and Listen: Ask all the people involved to explain what they went through and how they saw it. Listen to them, attentively. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Messages can mean more than the sum of their words, communicating more
than their stated purpose. Things left unsaid can be more important than that which is
said.
Messages tell us what our relationships are to the people we communicate
with, and give us hints about where we fit with our compatriots, and in the organizational
hierarchy.
While you should not look at every message that crosses your desk or computer screen as some sort of secret document in need of deciphering, you should be aware of some of the clues that can often be found in most internal communication.
Here are 10 simple questions to ask yourself to help you begin to analyze how the way you communication establishes who you are and what your relationships are:
How are you are addressed, and how do
you address the people you communicate with?
Where are you in the office distribution chain? Near the top? The bottom? In the middle?
Do most of the messages you get
“tell” you to do things, or “ask”?
Do people report what they want done,
or what they did?
Are they giving or asking for an
opinion?
Do your messages regularly ask you to
negotiate, facilitate, or mediate disputes?
Do you initiate more messages than you
receive?
Do your messages reflect friendships
as well as project/programme purpose relationships?
Do you get more or fewer messages than
others in your position?
Do you feel that your messages reflect
where you are in the chain of command?